I will be better.

I will stop judging. Criticizing. Pushing my ideas on others. Who am I, with all my sins, to judge anyone?

I will work harder to see the good.

I will never cause avoidable pain again. Never.

I will work harder to be someone who might actually deserve love.

Are guilt panic attacks a thing?

well they are now.

Why do we bother continuing to live in a world with so much pain, hatred, and suffering? Why are we here? Why don’t we let ourselves go extinct so no one else has to suffer?

Worst of all, why do we hurt people we love most? What kind of fucking monsters are we?

I’m going to spend the rest of my life suffering in guilt. Why don’t I just prevent future fuckups and end it all now? Am I still that fucking selfish?

How can you feel like a stranger to the person you were in the past? How do you accept what you’ve done when you can’t understand how you could even do it? When you know for a fact you’d never do it today? How can you live with the fact that you were once a fucking piece of shit and that someone you love is going to hurt from it every day, forever? How do you live with the constant fear that one day they might decide they don’t want to stick around for it anymore?